Ok, I'll admit it. I'm a nervous cat. The older I get, the more nervous I get. I'd argue that this is not my fault. How many dogs and kids does one family need?

But, there are things that help. Without them, I'd probably still be urinating on my owner in her sleep. Whatever. There are worse things.

Here's my list:

LIST OF 5 THINGS THAT HELP ME NOT URINATE ON MY OWNER IN HER SLEEP

• A tall cat tree, and a few other new high up places that are MINE and only MINE. (No, child, you cannot climb the cat furniture.) My owner put my tree right next to the bed I liked to urinate on, and it's actually pretty great, especially when the sun comes out. I'm basically a tiger, so I like to spend lots of time high up in case I need to hunt something or in case a threat appears. And there are many threats in this house. Child 1. Child 2. Dog 1. Dog 2. Occasional Foster cats. (*really?*)
  

• A scratching post and cardboard scratchers. I keep one in the child's room, and two in my bedroom. One of them I sleep on. It's filled with the fur I've shed, which makes me feel good. I might also like a corner face scratcher but who knows? Not me, because no one has thought to buy me one.

• A brush that she uses on me in different locations. Ok, some people don't want cat fur flying around the house. But, letting a little of my fur hang out here and there helps me feel good, especially when the house STINKS of dogs and babies.

• Hanging out with me every day. I used to like to play. I probably would still like to play IF THE HOUSE WASN'T FILLED WITH THREATS. So, right now, I prefer to be held. You have to come get me and put me on the couch in the living room. Then I will sleep on your lap and lick the gluten-free crumbs off your cookie plate. I like to style medium length hair as well, so that's an added bonus for you when we do couch time.

• Feed me the right kind of food. I've been called a dry food addict in the past. I mean, whatever. right? But I feel a lot better now that I'm eating only raw food. That scares some people! It scared me at first too. Luckily now there are other options out there. Like Smalls, which is what our other cat ate before she died. I didn't really like her, but it was nice to be less out numbered in the house. And you know what's great about feeding a cat a premium diet? Any given cat will weigh at least 100lbs less than the newest dog here, and will therefore eat considerably less food. So, I really am a cheap date.

Ok. Do these things for your cat. Ok?

love, tiny

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